I’ve been listening to this song on repeat since I got it, and it just keeps getting better and better the more I listen to it. It’s called Dudes Don’t Tag Team, by Arthur Advocate and Bizzle. It’s a fucking weird and hilarious song about two honest guys who just want pussy. And also it’s about sailboats.

I think I lost it somewhere around the ocean being ‘fucking very very deep’, and I kept laughing every time they laughed. ‘I mean, do an illusion…’ It’s best if you just think of how ridiculous it is.

It’s meandering, it’s hilarious, and you should listen to it right now. mp3 is here, lyrics and IM interview with Bizzle below.

Bizzle: the song is great
the autotune is what makes it amazing
[[wtf sailboats?]]
i know blake just started doing it
and i was like what the hell are you talking about
but then i went along with it
it sounds so emo
it’s fantastic
[[it keeps getting better the more i listen to it]]
listen how off-key blake is at 1:03, how much work the autotuner has to do to even try and get him close to on key
my favorite part might be “i really need a life blower right now!” “…….you mean a leafblower, gleb”
i just love how blake has obviously not been paying attention at all

Dudes Don’t Tag Team
[[Arthur Advocate is the voice mainly in the background, repeating sailboats and floating. Bizzle is the main, and more hilarious voice. I've put AA in italics to make it easier.]]

yeah, let’s tag team that bitch
yo, dudes don’t tag team
well why not? i really wanna tag team
because that is sort of gay
swordfight- no way (swordfight my ass)
i don’t ever want to see a cock
except for my cock (swordfight)
in your mouth
swordfight my cock
that’s what it’s all about
and when i nut you better swallow (sailboats)
or there will be no tomorrow (sailboats)
if you spit that shit out i’ma kill you (sailboats sailing far away)
and death is really sad (sailboats sailboats sailing far away)
the sailboats are burning!
the sailboats are dying
the sailboats are sinking into the ocean!
and it’s so deep (fucking very very deep)
and it’s so blue
like i was blue when i left you (on Monday, it felt like a Wednesday)
why did i leave you on Monday?
i should’ve left you on Wednesday
(backwards, yo)
oh yeah bitch

there’s a Mystic River and it’s in my heart (it’s floating)
can you solve the mystery? (it’s floating)
blow my life apart (it’s floating)
can you be my life blower?
can you be my life blower?
can you be my life blower? ([unintelligible])
i really need a life blower right now
(you mean a leaf blower, Gleb?
i think you mean a leaf blower)

no i need a life blower
like that girl blew my life over
yo fuck that ho
oh, i mean open (nah, yo)
i need a life opener
we need to uncover our secrets
you say you want a can opener? i say i need a life opener
i need to open up my life (can’t keep that shit secret)
i need to be an open man
because ladies love an honest man

we all know that ladies love an honest man
ladies love an honest man
and that honest man’s name is gleb
and blake
two honest guys who just want some pussy
what the fuck, we’re pretty nice
hop on my dick
do a trick (spin around)
i mean do an illusion, ho (spin around, yeah)

I’m currently hospitalized with few things other than my computer and wireless, so I am working on more transcriptions.

MP3s of MZD, a profile piece on Robin Young, and maybe some old footage of Bruce Campbell insulting New Jersey, if you’re lucky.

Tori Amos: Hi.
[Hi.]
How are you?
[Good. How are you?]
I’m really good.
[Okay. I promised my best friend in DC I would ask you this question when I met you. Um, (crinkling of paper) are these really the words to Learn to Fly, and do you remember any of the tune?]
Yes, I do, I know it very well.
[Can you, like, hum it a bit?]
(pause as Tori begins to read the lyrics)
[I always wanted to know how, like, that part goes. (referring to "I can't compare to your heavy metal dream"). (giggles)]
(pause as Tori finishes reading the lyrics)
Yeah, this is, this is it. How did they know?
[Uh, someone said they found it on Ebay, like, in your handwriting. And they just put it all over the Internet.]
Oh, did they?
[Yeah. Are you ever planning on playing it?]
Maybe. Maybe I do. Do you mind if…Do you want to keep this?
[No, you can take it.]
Are you sure?
[Yeah.]
Can you get a copy of it?
[Yeah, yeah, it's all online. I can just print it out.]
Okay. Cuz maybe, maybe I just will.
[Oh, that would be fabulous.]
Maybe, maybe I just will!
[(giggle)]
It’s given me an idea, because it was written for Little Earthquakes, I mean, it’s copywritten, meaning, it really was, but what happened was, uh, the gu- we didn’t have time to record it with Davitt Sigerson before, you know, Atlantic rejected Little Earthquakes, which was ludicrous-
[Obviously.]
- because a lot of his stuff got cut. And he did Mary and Sweet Dreams and all that. And we were going to record that one with him as well but there was just no time.
[Oh, okay.]
But I never have, and maybe I, you know, like Take Me With You, it just slipped through the cracks.
[Yeah.]
Thank you for reminding me. How do I…(she has been signing the tourbook absentmindedly while talking and realized she has not asked my name)
[Lily. L-I-L-Y. And also if you have any inclination to play Take to the Sky tonight, right after the show I have to take a plane to Boston.]
Do you?
[Yeah, I go straight to O'Hare.]
(whispered) It’s on my list.
[(stage-whispered) Okay!]
Thank you, Lily, for that. I needed to be reminded.

It was one of the tracks originally written for Little Earthquakes that never saw the light of day. Evidently a sheet (or envelope, according to HereinMyHead) with the lyrics in Tori’s handwriting turned up on Ebay a while back.

During the Chicago VIP meet and greet, I pulled out a sheet with the supposed lyrics and asked her if they were the right words, and if she remembered how it went. ‘Oh yes,’ Tori said, ‘I remember it well.’ After reading the words she said, ‘How do they know?’ and I explained the Ebay story.

I asked if she was thinking about ever playing it and she said maybe. A hopeful maybe.

‘Maybe. Maybe I will,’ she said, smiling. ‘Maybe I just will! It’s given me an idea!’ She went on to explain how it wasn’t recorded for Little Earthquakes because she wasn’t able to work with the sound guy who did Mary and Sweet Dreams because of an issue with Atlantic. Tori said it was a song like Take Me With You that just ‘fell through the cracks.’

She asked if she could keep the handwritten set of lyrics, and I assured her that I could find another copy online.

Tori signed my tourbook “For Lily For Remembering…. <3 Tori Amos + Learn to Fly”

‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘I needed to be reminded.’

Full lyrics below cut.

Learn to Fly
got a red balloon it’s
got me dreamin dreamin
dreamin of you
i let it go
like you baby you
slipped through my hands
like my brain i know
has always been slow
so
i gotta learn to fly
or i’ll be drownin drownin
drownin in this
everyday day cry they say
even the best
swimmers can drown
that i know
cause i made a mess of my life
i know i made a mess of my life

like a bird on a wire
i feel
like a bird on a wire
then why do i fall
before i learn to fly
i guess i’ll learn to crawl

can a snake have wings
can a girl who lost her courage
teach a lion to sing
a beginning pilot
got a beginning plane
i can’t compare with your heavy metal dream
these dark ages got some
fancy machines

like a bird on a wire
i feel
like a bird on a wire
then why do i fall
before i learn to fly
i guess i’ll learn to crawl

like catfish said
catfish and eddie
gonna show you how girl
to walk on water, yeah
we’ll take it slow
we ain’t gonna rush you
we’ll start out small with
the mississippi yeah
they say i can’t look back
they say i can’t look back
why do i look below
oh god
i’m sinkin fast
gotta learn to fly
or i’ll be drownin drownin
drownin in this everyday cry
they say the best
swimmers can drown
with every stroke
i lie to myself
with every stroke
i lied to myself

like a bird on a wire
i feel
like a bird on a wire
then why do i fall
before i learn to fly
I guess I’ll learn to crawl

MZD Q&A 4

MZD Q&A 5

Yes?

[[How about a silent movie?]]

How about a silent movie?

[[Crowd laughter.]]

I like that! All with cards.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

[[Um, you mentioned that Danny Elfman did the soundtrack.]]

Mhm.

[[How did you get associated with him?]]

He’s just been a friend for a long time. So. It’s one of those unfair things.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

I know. It’s just like, well, Mark Danielewski is friends with Danny Elfman, that’s how that happened. Uh…You know the truth is he used to live where I used to go body board. And uh, and I would drop by his place for, for coffee. And, uh, sort of slow, slow, you know, from there we sort of became friends.

[[So he read the book.]]

Oh, I’m sure he didn’t.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

No, actually it’s, it’s, it’s more complicated than that. My, uh…In order to finish the book, uh, and some of you may have seen these photos, I actually…this is one of those dangerous things to bring up because, um…How many people have read the book? Oh, okay, then I can tell you. Huh. Congratulations. These are the only, when you start getting into some of the density of it, some people just, like, they faint, they pass out in the aisles, you know. Chuck Palahniuk, they pass over, intestines coming out the ass.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

My audiences, they pass when they hear about some of the numeric, you know, madness that’s going on. But, you know, each, there, there’s, there’re five acts that break everything up, you know. And there is a kind of musical quality. So as much as, as Act One Same is the same, and reflects what’s going on in Act One Hailey, Act One Hailey also reflects what’s going on in Sam Five, and, and Sam One also reflects what’s going on in Hailey Five. Right? So that’s kind of obvious, I guess. But then it goes further, which is that each act is actually layered upon the subsequent act. So ultimately, what I did was I used Danny’s ballroom to lay out all the pages of Act One, and then underneath it I could lay out all the pages of Act Two, all the pages of Act Three, Four, and Five. So then I could go through on page 1 and correlate it with page 73 and correlate it with one, page 144, and look at some of the sort of the musical themes and words that were kind of come- I know, more information than you needed to know.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

There you go. So Danny would always actually have this big view of the book. And so he would come in and look at it like that, and I’d be like, well, see, this goes like that, and it’s kind of this theme is being rein-reintroduced and here’s the creep theme, and the creep theme gets reinterpreted here, and maybe it’s not the creep but it’s Viazazopolis or Viapopolous or whatever he is on this, that page. So. So he sort of read it by osmosis.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

Actually, you know what, that’s totally unfair, because he read it when he heard the audio. That’s ultimately when he read it. Because then once I gave it to him with all his music, then he listened to it in the car.

MZD Q&A 2

MZD Q&A 3

Yeah?

[[I heard about your book, um, The Fifty-Year Sword, and I was wondering if you were going to release that, uh, on a mass scale.]]

Uh, the question was a book, about, about a book called The Fifty-Year Sword, which is, is really a short story that was, uh, published, in, in Holland, and um, it’s a…I’ll tell you two things: One, it’s very expensive to buy it on ebay. It’s, um, it is affordable if you, if you’d like a second edition. But it’s still very expensive. It costs around sixty dollars. And if you can navigate through some of the forums, if you go to houseofleaves.com, you can check out some, some of the threads there. And, uh, they’ll help you kind of get through the Dutch ordering system. So you actually can get a copy. Uh, but the book itself probably won’t come out til October of ’08 or October ’09, and it’ll be a different format. We haven’t- It will come out, but it’s, uh, we haven’t decided if we want to get another artist. I mean, you know, one of the, one of the, uh, the advantages of something like Myspace with all its salacious spamming is that there’re actually a bunch of talented artists. I encourage anyone who is an artist, you know, if you want to just drop me a note there or something, we do try to look at the art. Uh, it’s always interesting for me to work with an artist, to try, you know, to incorporate that work. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But, you know, I just sit in a little room so it’s very hard for me to get out, you know, and find stuff. Uh, but, you know, we’ll definitely probably re-, redo it in some way, and, and release that story. Um, you know, maybe we’ll do an audio version first. I don’t know. We’ll figure something out.

In the back.

[[Uh, (unintelligible) audio version of Only Revolutions. Only Revolutions amounts to be a very visual . and a lot on the text. I have to imagine that (creating) an audio version that (unintelligible) challenge (unintelligible)]]

[[Phone rings.]]

[[-change the meaning of the story passed (unintelligible)]]

[[Phone rings.]]

Uh, the question was about the audio version, uh, which is now available on iTunes, and a variety of other places. Um, the, you know, it is, it is an interpretation. It’s a, it’s a, it’s a limited experience but it is proven to be a key that I think a lot of people find helpful. Uh, you know, we didn’t read the historical columns, for instance. Um, and if you really were going to do the music, you can imagine this massive mash-up that started back in, you know, the turn of the century all the way to the present. Uh, in fact, I’m, I’m fortunate enough to, to have a good friend who let me use his music, his synth demos for it, and uh, um, and so we managed to sort of get around the enormous union fees for, for, you know, an orchestra of Danny Elfman proportions.

[[Crowd laughter.]]

And, uh, and then, you know, I found a, you know, an amazing, uh, engineer who was, who was so in touch with, you know, all the sounds in his library, and, you know, just, you know, taken byOnly Revolutions that he went, he went around looking for different car sounds that were appropriate, at least by the decade. So you’re hearing those old, you know, the old start-up engines, etc, etc. And so, you know, and then, and then we found an actress who was great and enthusiastic and that was actually through, uh this sort of online audition process. But we did it. It took a lot of time. It took more time to compile.

And I think, the one thing that’s really cool is that it’s, it’s not done through something like audible.com, where you actually have to buy the whole, um, book. It’s actually put on iTunes so you can buy just a chapter for 99 cents. And what my experience is now, is that people buy, you know, a few of the chapters and that kind of helps them hear the rhythm of how to read the thing. And, uh, and then that, and then they’re on their own. And then they’re- to hell with Mark’s voice. I want to read in my voice. So, what I think, one of the things I do like a-about audio, as opposed to, um, a movie, and I still refuse to sell the rights, which seems more insane as you get older and older. You know..is that it still leaves so much to the imagination. You know, people can still participate in, in, in, in creating, you know, those landscapes and those characters.

 And uh, I think probably I would like to try to do something visually but it would have to be something that still requires the viewer’s imagination, because it’s kind of a moral tenet for me. I mean, I believe it’s, that we need to exercise our imagination, which is why we read hard books. And it’s through imagination that we can actually begin to empathize with others. And it’s through empathy through others that we can begin to negotiate, you know, accordances and situations of peace that last. So that’s my little soapbox on hard reading.

MZD Q&A 1

Transcription below the cut. Text is broke up arbitrarily for easier reading.

[[I'm just curious about, uh, your writing process. Uh, I know that, uh, it's been seven or eight years, uh, between books and I think, uh, [unintelligible] you spent something close to ten years writing that. Well, I was wondering about, uh, I guess the process that you go through and how, uh, you know, you spoke about having difficulty or feeling maybe strange about [unintelligible] House of Leaves. Did you take excerpts from it while you were [unintelligible]. So I was wondering how…how you maintain that, not maybe interest, but, uh, how, how such a long writing process affects you and how the book and the concepts change over a period of time as you’re writing.]

So the question is, how.. how do I main-maintain…focus?

[[Um, yeah, I mean-]]

How, how, how do I maintain focus, and how is my work affected, when, uh, House of Leaves took ten years, and Only Revolutions took six years. Um…that’s a very good question. Uh, I, you know, I… part of it is entirely personal, and, and in some ways untraceable. It’s, it’s something that gets inside me and I want to fulfill, uh, that story. Um. And so, you know, Only Revolutions was, was something that seemed at first so simple, you know, just inspired by these, you know, two strays that I came across.

It was uh, it was uh, inspired by the the road movies that I loved to watch. You know…On a basic level it just, you know, there wasn’t abook about, you know, a couple on the road, really. The movies were replete with them, but you know, there was, there was Huck and Jim and there was Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance, it was father and son, Paper Chase, it’s uh.. ah, I mean, Paper Moon it was father and daughter and you know, uh, On the Road is really sort of, you know, Jack Keroauc’s alter egos.

So it was really basic on that level and I knew that I wanted to write something that was outside. House of Leaves was all about the interior and getting within, and, and, and this was going to be a book about openness, about, about that which was even beyond myself. You know, which is I think why, why love is the central theme because it’s, it’s casting your lot with someone that is completely other than yourself, um, as opposed to Johnny Truant’s, you know, investigation and exploration of self and Will Navidson etc.

And also early on, I had, I had this idea about how the book could, could physically, uh, depict that relationship so that, you know, he would start on one side, she would start on the other, they would be as far apart as possible in the way they saw the world and the amount of the, and the amount of the page they took up, in the, in the way they saw themselves, in the way they reflected the history of the other…

And then slowly as you got through the book, and you headed towards the middle, things would start to fall into line. Their, their sense of the world would become more accurate, their reflection of, of, um, of each other’s words and sentiments would be more accurate and then there would be this feeling as you move past that center point, that you would feel them, you know, move away from one another. And, and, and, you feel the rela- relationship tear away from itself.

So that was all very early. You know, you know, and, and it seemed kind of simple. But to actually follow through on that idea was far more daunting that I imagined. You know, I thought it was a little foothill that I was gonna climb. You know, and maybe there was some fog behind it. You know, so I kind of climbed up and maybe I heard some giggles in the background, kind of evil giggles-

[Crowd laughter]

-leading me on, and they [unintelligible] interesting–

So I get to the top of that foothill and then I see, like, well, wait a minute, there’s some, still keeps going higher and the fog kept receding and the giggles started getting louder. So I climbed higher and higher. And I looked back and I realized the fog had kind of moved in behind me. I said, well, I might as well climb to the top because, you know, I live in Hollywood, California, and there’s no big mountains.

[Crowd laughter.]

And then I just kept climbing and climbing higher. And the, and then the giggles started sounding a little more like growls, and, and, and, uh, and then I realized I was really in for it, and, uh, and they were pretty rough.

But, you know, I, I am being serious in the sense that that idea really begins to, you know, hold on, onto, it held onto me, and then the characters themselves became more and more significant. And I realized that it wasn’t just the biography. Like, what is the nature of identity? What’s the nature of personality? More important, what is the nature of freedom when opposed to love, you know?

Love is this kind of, you know, in the, in the idioms of our day, it’s, you know, people referr to the ball and chain or you know, that you’re entrapped, and yet at the same time, falling in love with someone is just this expression of, of, of freedom. It empowers you. It gives you a courage to move on, you know. And, uh, and of course as I began exploring that, it became, you know, a much larger [unintelligible] — I was reading authors that, you know, dealt with landscape and dealt with the philosophy of the open. And, you know, looking at artists that, that deal spec-specifically with, an, you know, with, with nature and, and these things kept pushing and pushing until finally I realized that the, the very nature of their identity had kind of, had, had become deracinated from any kind of temporal location.

And, and I realized that, you know, these, these sixteen-year-olds were, were present throughout the decades. And, and I began to study their language and their vernacular and I began to talk to people out on the road and I’d go to different places and I travelled the Mississippi and I talked to people, you know, who, what was it like when you were sixteen? And who did you fall in love with? And, you know, what’s your favorite personal moment and your personal historical moment? What was your relationship to that? And then eventually I went online and, you know, something, just giving a broad spectrum of, of how much goes into a book. And so for me, it’s kind of, it’s kind of an accomplishment that I did it in six years!

[Crowd laughter.]

But that’s kind of an overview.

 Before he began reading parts of Only Revolutions, MZD decided to start with a passage from HoL which he felt indicated the beginnings of the ideas for Only Revolutions.

 He didn’t have a copy of HoL on him, so instead of taking one of the new bookstore copies, he marked mine up instead.

I’m pretty sure it’s page 399, but since I lent it out to a friend, I can’t check. 

The mp3 of the book reading will be up shortly.

The video’s a bit shaky, since I was shooting from all the way back on the lawn. Thankfully, the PNC Bank Arts Center has huge video screens so you actually are able to see Tori’s facial reaction to all of this.

Hopefully nothing like this will happen during her new tour for American Doll Posse, which began last night in Albany. I will be at both Boston shows, DC, and Plat VIP for Chicago. Expect more videos and photos.

The transcription of the video is below the cut.

Here…here….
Father Lucifer, you never looked so sane
You always did prefer the drizzle to the rain
Tell me that you’re still in love with that milkmaid
How’re the Lizzies?
How’s your Jesus Christ been- (initial microphone cut-off)
[Hanging!]
[Crowd applause.]
(Tori holds up a hand, looks slightly baffled, and waves in an ‘oh, well, what can you do?’ manner)
Okay, hold on. They’ve got power out there, we don’t have it up here. Hold on. Okay. That’s okay. It’s those right-wing Christians coming after me. (Tori smiles)
[Crowd laughter, applause.]
(sings) Testing, testing (begins to play a simple improv tune which continues to end), testing, testing- (mic cut-off)
[Crowd response.]
(Tori looks at crowd, attempts to speak into mic, looks backstage)
(Sound comes back on piano, Tori jumps to the mic)
Okay. So. Did somebody step on something? (mic cut-off)
(Tori throws her hand up in disbelief, looks out to crowd)
(Sound comes back)
Hello. (apparently hoping to get a word out before cut off again)
(Tori plays while looking at the crowd, seeming embarrassed, and looks backstage again)
(Tori engages in inaudible conversation with person backstage, quickly turns to mic)
This is Marcel. (Tori turns her back to crowd again, continues conversation)
[Crowd applause.]
(improv tune continues, mic cut-off)
(improv tune continues, mic cut-off)
(Tori speaks into microphone without success, mic starts up)
So the monitor desk is down. (mic cut-off)
(Tori waves to crowd, but is powerless without mic)
(Tori engages in conversation, holds up a finger to the crowd)
What, hang on, so what’s happening, I feel like we’re, um, sharing this- (brief mic cut-off) event together. This horror story. So what needs to happen is, the sound guys are now starting to wee themselves. And, um, this never happens, so we just need to figure out what’s going on. And then when they give me the okay…just pretend I’m Tori’s double. Um, testing! I’m not gonna leave you like this, don’t worry.
[Crowd applause.]
(Tori continues playing)
I see guys on their hands and knees. (pauses, holds up a finger) Normally, that would be appealing!
[Crowd laughter.]
(Tori engages in offstage inaudible conversation)
Okay.
(Tori stops playing)
So this is Johnny, who’s a very good person. And he’s suggesting we take a five-minute break, so that, um, the guys can fix it, and if you all need to wee, I would do that. (Tori motions with an open hand) Or, um, pass the peace pipe. I would do that! (Tori motions with a closed fist) And you’ll be warned when I’m coming back. I’m not gonna shortchange you. I’ll see you in a minute.
(Tori waves, exits stage)